What’s happening in my revenge porn case? Nothing. That’s the problem. It’s been two years since some freak posted my naked body online and he’s still out there, free.

I still think about it a lot, but it’s not always at the front of my mind anymore. When I remember what happened, it hits me right in the gut and instantly I feel sick. I dread seeing him in court but I make myself go, just so I know he’s as miserable as I am.

This man is a stranger to me now. We dated back in high school when I was 14-17. I’m 28 now, we are completely different people. I know nothing about him, but he knows everything about me. It’s the grossest feeling.

He cyber-stalked me for ten years, ever since we broke up in high school. I know this because that’s how far back the photos go that he stole from me and ultimately posted online. He was into everything of mine- social media accounts, emails, my cell phone. This person was watching me closely. He collected all of my nude photos and then shared them online in a thread dedicated to my high school.

People were commenting under the photos, sharing my full name and saying things like “I had no idea she was a slut”. They asked for more and he posted more, trading pictures of me for other women. “Women” might be the wrong word considering some of the girls posted I have confirmed were as young as 15. I know because I helped several of them get their photos down. They were too ashamed to press charges.

I only knew my photos were shared online because a stranger found me on Facebook to tell me. By that time, some of the photos had already been up for over two months. Family members had seen them, or knew of their existence. I would wake up every morning to check the site for more photos, and sometimes I’d be posted again. It was awful.

It was a month before I knew who was behind it. It was a really scary time because I had no idea who it could be. The photos were from a ten year span and sent to different people, who did not know each other. I stressed constantly not knowing what was coming next, or when. I lost a lot of weight. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened because I didn’t even know what had happened.

I reported everything to the police. I told them I thought someone had been watching me for a very long time. They thought a more likely explanation was that these photos had been shared between the guys, even after I told them that was impossible. I showed them evidence of an IP address accessing my accounts that did not belong to me. They told me I was most likely wrong, even though they clearly knew less about technology than I did.

I called them a couple weeks later because my stalker was promising to post more of my nudes and I wanted to stop him. He was going to post them that night and I was panicking. Nobody at the station knew what I was talking about, they just sent my call around and around in a circle, and I eventually gave up on them helping me. I was desperate.

I took matters into my own hands, forcing the creep to reveal himself to me. I tricked him into believing he was already caught. He called me, thinking he could save himself. When I saw “Greg” come up on my caller ID, my ex’s name from ten years ago, everything clicked. I wanted to throw up.

Only once I had solved the case did the police actually put a detective on it. As far as the investigation? I was on my own. It was a nightmare. The truth is that law enforcement are just not equipped to deal with these cases. They need massive amounts of training. I hate to think about what other victims who are less technical have to go through.

It wasn’t just me he did this to. Sure, I had it the worst, but I confirmed photos of at least six other women were also posted by Greg. He is a predator. Even more disturbing, I found he was watching my little sister as well. She kept getting notices that someone was trying to access her phone and her Snapchat. When I compared the IP address, it was Greg’s.

What have I got from all of this? Well, I was granted a restraining order. That’s it. That’s the only thing protecting me from this guy now. Every month or two we go back to court for a status update and nothing ever happens other than the case gets extended out further. The pictures came down eventually, but not before I had to tell potential employers what had happened for fear they’d see my boobs in a google search. And not before everyone I went to school with saw them. You see, a side effect of letting others know they’ve been posted is that people talk, more and more people find out about the site, get curious, and go look for themselves.

It’s important for me to press charges. The damage is already done in my case but I’m hoping to prevent him from hurting anyone else like he did to me. He is ex-military and had plans of becoming a police officer. That thought keeps me up at night and I know that I cannot let that happen. How could he be entrusted with protecting anyone after this? And why would he risk his entire future just to get his jollies on the internet? Nothing makes sense.

The creep is being charged with a felony, cyber trespass. Right now we are set to go to trial in December but it’s unclear if it will actually happen. Everything in the courts takes so long, and nothing goes how you think it should. It doesn’t help that the prosecutor’s office lost my case for six months, putting me at the end of the line.

I’m nonchalant about all of this now but nothing about this has been easy. Keeping a sense of humor helps me to cope (along with lots of meds). I have had to fight every step of the way to be heard and to be taken seriously. I want to see him held responsible for what he did but honestly? It’s hard to have hope some days. It’s been so long and I’ve gained very little (other than PTSD).I just want him to leave me alone forever. I want to start making memories that he doesn’t know about. I want him to forget about me. Sometimes I worry if he goes to jail for this he might never forget me, and that he will harbor a grudge or do something crazy.

Life can be really weird.