I am terrible at this whole milk journal thing. I feel like it did help the last time, but it’s hard to make myself do it. I am demotivated, sad, and CrAzY!!

I have still been having crazy dreams almost every night. Still always running from something or a situation. I was smart in my dreams last night in that i was able to call for an Uber to get me out of there, but I was disappointed when my ride showed up and it was actually just an old lady pulling a wagon. I knew it wouldn’t be fast enough to get away, so I’m glad I woke up before we all died.

Cops are finally making some progress with my legal situation. And by progress I mean the detective has my nudes saved so I can start the process of getting them down. I thought I would be feeling better by now but I’m just so antsy for this fucker to go to jail and I know it could be a little while.

I called in sick to my work from home job 5 times this week. And I truly am ill. What is motivation? I didn’t specify the illness- it’s all in my brain. Even if I was online I know I wouldn’t get anything done. Only 2 weeks left at this place… I can do this!

Now for the milk.

What’s on my mind?

1. It bothers me that adults are picking on children for not wanting to die at school.
2. I wonder if I will be working in a month. I wonder where I will be working in a month.
3. I don’t want other girls to have to go through what I’ve been going through.
4. I want to binge eat delicious food but not gain any weight
5. I am bothered that I spend 0 time working on my tech skills and coding these days, other than my actual job. I hate him for taking that away from me. I will be back on track eventually.

What am I grateful for?

1. A supportive husband who loves me way too much. I try very hard to make him hate me but he won’t do it.
2. My cute baby. He is hilarious and made me laugh at least a few times today. I needed that. I’m happy I got to spend pretty much the whole week with with him.
3. I am grateful for Harry Potter. Always.